The Dame and the Colonel

Mike Small
2 min readAug 22, 2022

The news from The Sun (Don’t buy The Sun) that Dame Arlene Foster and Lady Colonel Ruth Davidson ‘are set to go on tour — to stop the nation breaking up’ has set Bella alight with joy and a certain kind of glee. The framing of this wonderous event is a thing of beauty. The Sun (Wot won it) tells us: “Ex-Brexit kingmaker Dame Arlene and the former Scots Tory leader are set to trapse up and down the nation to highlight benefits of staying together.”

They must mean traipse, right?

The red-top tells us that they are ‘big-hitters’ and ‘political Big Beasts’ and the plan is to “stop the nation breaking up.”

What could possibly go wrong?

The tone’s a bit weird. The Super Soar-away Sun tells us: “Sources close to the tour say they hope to shift the limelight away from Scots Nationist Nicola Sturgeon who gets all the media attention.”

They must mean Nationalist, right?

It sounds a little bit like sour grapes or Dame Arlene and The Lady Colonel are missing the limelight a bit as their careers enter their autumn years.

A source said: “Arlene will hit the road with the likes of Ruth and show people what the union means” (that should be fun).

“For too long it’s been the Nicola Sturgeon show, and it’s time to get people talking about what is so good about the union of four great nations.”

It sure is.

I mean it’s just possible that they are over-imagining the power of their own charisma and the impact the Dynamic Dou will have in wooing back the recalcitrant Celtic Fringe. But there are other potential pitfalls ahead.

Baroness Davidson of Lundin Links was adjudged to be a wonderful media operator but famously came unstuck when interviewed by Channel 4’s Ciaran Jenkins on the sticky subject of the DUPs views on LGBT ‘issues’.

Perhaps they’ll discuss it on the tour?



Mike Small

Venture Communism | Degrowth | Twilight Sci-fi | Generalism